My mom and dad are still together. It isn't your fault. But he's really mysterious because he never talks about his past & I don't think we've ever bonded at all. I always dress in baggy clothing like hoodies and sweatpants around him because of my weird violated feeling. Started Friday at 07:51 AM, By For the first time in my life, my inner compass isn't pointing me anywhere. I am so sorry you are experiencing this right now. It hurts me because I feel he doesn't care or love me. He buys me nice stuff and generally is being super nice. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive to this or if there's some legitimate reason behind my feelings. Any thoughts or suggestions would be wonderful , thanks so much. If you have any ideas on how to get through this Christmas, how to choose what to do, or any ideas on how to hold this messy thing, I would be so grateful. Then I told a friend, who also felt this exact way growing up. Started Friday at 11:13 PM, Mel Robbins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Psych2Go posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Tony Gaskins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Yahoo posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, Newsweek posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, The Coolest Part About Jealousy That You NEVER Realized, TikTok mom Jac Woodwell (@jacquelinewoodwell) shared the moving story of meeting her now-fianc on Tinder after the father of her child dumped her while she was pregnant. Can you help me get over the feelings of love I have for a person with whom my relationship has ended? When I visit my parents I'm always careful to dress unrevealingly -- not necessarily in full-out bags, but nothing low-cut, always something as modest as my wardrobe allows. Nothing less than kind. You need to (1) report the matter to the local police so they can run an investigation on your dad and try to figure out how bad it is. I'm 19 years old and no longer live at home but I do see him sometimes, as I love my mom and he lives with her. The person who violated me sexually also smoked around me as a child. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. I said we were leaving, that I just suddenly felt like being back home. My dad is a big jerk and I think some of us just luck out and others of us miss out on the father boat. I want to make everything all right, let it go. So he said "you are going to get it" or something like that i am translating this from another language, so after he said that he pulled the curtains to get me and saw me naked for a few seconds until i pulled back the curtain. Associated Press articles: Copyright 2016 The Associated Press. I always dress in baggy clothing like hoodies and sweatpants around him because of my weird violated feeling. You are commenting as a guest. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent the position of the Church. That doesn't mean permanent estrangement. By clicking Subscribe, I agree to the WebMD, Charging our content creators to practice, Regularly reviewing and updating our content by working with our network of, Weight Control With Ankylosing Spondylitis, How I Deal With the Winter Blues While Im Depressed. Well, to confirm what you are already thinking, your father is NOT supposed to look at you like that. I keep having flashes of him raping me as well. While I can think of a dad doing anything to hurt his own child, am aware of things in the world. Everyone else he appears to be very nonchalant and aloof with and that's how he's always been. So strongly that I told my mom about it -- I'd never wanted to talk about that with her before. You deserve a home thats free from abuse. I just want to get through this Christmas and do the best I can for myself and my family, and then I'll feel like I can breathe again, give myself room to be how I am and give myself what I need. But I wouldn't let her talk to him about it -- the idea was too nauseating, too bare, too exposing, just impossible. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. . There's probably very little that you feel or experience that your dad hasn't been through already. But then I think of my brother, and my aging mother, who's taking care of both of them, and my confused old father, and I think, how can I not attempt it? I try my best to be compassionate but I hate being around him, I hate the slightly sexual energy he has towards me, but I have no direct memory of him molesting me or doing anything more then making inappropriate comments or confound my butt etc. Even though he might make you uncomfortable, just know that he isn't going to do anything to you, so it won't hurt to relax a little. You are not alone. A MAN. Next is physical proximity. In deciding exactly how to manage your visit, it may help to avoid formulating the problem as an either/or situation. Im worried about my dad and the influence hes brought to me and this family. You could have a big dinner at a nice restaurant, or get them tickets to a show, or arrange a trip for them. He's precarious. 909 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic. Female Friend feels uncomfortable around me (18M). We went to my room and I wanted to play video games with him, but he kept touching on me, going in my pants. A strange and uncomfortable feeling around my dad and grandpa. Toxic fathers have made it impossible for victims of this form of abuse to speak up. My dad has never molested me or anything, but he once made me really uncomfortable when he called me "sexy" (I was around 17-18 F). Add comment as: Unwise!! I would strongly recommend you going to a female therapist; nothing against the good works of a male therapist but having been in your shoes, you will always feel more comfortable discussing these thoughts and feelings with another female. My mother is the paranoid, afraid of the world person. Obedient yet resentful or disobedient and not resentful. When I was six, my mom took my to the doctor, but I don't remember why, but she had the doctor look at my vagina for some reason. Avoid open-ended visits with your parents. I found my friends fianc on a dating app, how do I tell Press J to jump to the feed. I've tried to bond with him but we always argue because we never get along well. His eyes seem to have only half a person behind them. You are NOT being "too sensitive" your mind is telling you something is wrong, because it is. plus other horrible comments. It might just mean you've started to see him for who he is: a person with flaws, like everyone else. Stay in your house or in a hotel. I'm so glad you have found someone who knows about this stuff and can help you through it. All rights reserved. Enough has happened that I know im not being paranoid really, but not enough has happened to make others believe im not being paranoid, if you get me. I'm pretty sure he loves me but I just want to make things a little more peaceful with my dad.. How can I leave them alone at Christmas? The young persons guide to conquering (and saving) the world. My dad was sitting a couple of feet away from me. I eventually gained the courage and told him to go home. After fighting with Greta Thunberg on Twitter, noted misogynist Andrew Tate has been detained on human trafficking charges in Romania. I don't feel safe alone in a car with him -- don't know why, but I go out of my way to avoid that when I can. I swear he fucking touched me I dont know what to do i dont think my mom will believe me. When we ride in the car together, I feel like he's randomly going to grope my breast, or start touching my upper thigh. Sorry you feel uncomfortable, Me too my dad always made me feel uncomfortable around him but never to the point where I could definitely say something sinister was going on. This website is not owned by or affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes called the Mormon or LDS Church). He shouldn't have those kinds of impulses towards you. When I was around 16, he introduced me to pornography, masturbation, and has also been involved in inappropriate touching. To choose your username either log in or sign up. As a leader in digital health publishing for more than 25 years, WebMD strives to maintain the most comprehensive and reliable source of health and medical information on the internet. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Cond Nast. Ice queen gymrat44 replied to fcl 's response: I can't think of anyone to feel more comfortable with when being naked. I decided to hire him and I am glad I did. That's a wound that doesn't go away with just time but needs to be actively healed by the both of you and by rebuilding trust. I feel bad for my dad. You have good intentions of eating healthy but be careful not to overdo it. Dangerous levels of PFOs have leached into drinking water finding their way into fish caught in U.S. rivers and lakes. Mr. Dearface held me and took care of me, and within an hour or so, I felt better. As I got older he started to make comments about my body and the like. Did he actually love me? Your inner voice is telling you something. Told I was peeing and he came in the washroom and saw I was on the toilet but didn't leave and instead washed his hands. He is still your father. [] (1)Why do the Chinese dislike milk and milk products? He'd get a glazed look in his eyes when he was sexually aroused. You dont have to explain anymore. May 30, 2014 | AAAA AskGramps Website, Life's Lessons | 5 comments, I dont know what to do and I dont want to be judgmental but I do want to help my family. But she dropped it as soon as I did, which was within a couple of months. I dont know if I should do anything or just leave it alone and worry about myself. I rushed out of there in tears with no explanation, fetched my sweetheart, and we went back to the cabin and briskly gathered our stuff. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. Them?! 172 views | Sadly, the adults that raised you behaved completely inappropriately and left you unprotected. put my life at risk. Husband [39M] and I [29F] had a discussion about the My husband tested my sons paternity behind my back and Am I being paranoid or should I trust my gut? Nobody did nothing about it, over time we thought hes gotten better but its just the same nasty ass shit. Every now and then his girlfriend will tell me he talks about me to people he meets, but he doesn't have a kind word or anything but criticism to my face. . But he should be able to work through those feelings without leaning on you. My grandfather watches a lot of porn and I remember telling my grandma and mom about it when I found out, but my grandma said "That's what men do." I don't want his life to end on this tragic note. Child, I am so sorry this has happened to you. Listen to this wellbeing playlist on Spotify today. Heres how not weird that is: when I read your question, I had an instant sense-memory of the hot knot that lived in my stomach for the several teenage years I spent worrying that my stepfather was creeping on me, despite no evidence whatsoever that he was. This happens to me too, even when my dad do me tickles I just feel so uncomfortable, I'm 20 now and I'm still questioning if something happen to me when I was younger but there a hole in my childhood, but just sharing that you are not alone in this c: 2 Kayboo18 7 mo. WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Are these relatively safe, or do you get into trouble talking on the phone with them? Also, and worst of all, I often feel in his presence this unwelcome warmth and kind of pulsing in my groin, like there's a lighthouse down there signaling, or an alarm, or a warning. For the official Church websites, please visit churchofjesuschrist.org or comeuntochrist.org. He's such sad, wistful figure to me, despite everything. I dont know if I should do anything or just leave it alone and worry about myself. Why arent prophets giving us specific signs to watch for? She guessed the nature of it right away, and fell on the bed crying. I dont know what to do and I dont want to be judgmental but I do want to help my family. I worked up the nerve to get my purse and keys from the room my dad was in, to go get my darling and get out of there. It will take work and faith. I bolted out to the back deck. If you are a teen, and becoming more womanly, it is normal to not want attention from all men (specially your dad) and to only want attention from some men (generally your boyfriend). he just makes me so fucking uncomfortable. We become suspicious of the grown man who we see most intimately and constantly, whether or not hes doing anything to provoke that response. I basically grew up alone. I am sorry and hope that you can find some peace with your situation. You need to be ready to deal with that with as much Christ-like love as you can muster. Will the United States be on the side of Israel in the last war? he doesnt mean it that way, but he has said similar things to my sister. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. We knew it was risky, Mr. Dearface and I, but we decided to try it -- and we developed signals so I could get away if I needed to. You are stronger than you know and that is also in your favor. I felt like I was flying into pieces. Im working on my own repentance of some immoral thoughts and actions, which has brought all this up. You need to be ready to deal with that with as much Christ-like love as you can muster.You love your Dad, but if he is guilty of the things you think he is then that love should compel you to stop him. But I had never had anything like that happen before. The earliest I can remember was I was about 12. Rachel,What you describe sounds like sexual abuse of children.